Forgive me readers, for I have sinned. It has been nearly two months since my last blog entry. The slave-drivers at work have been cracking the whip especially hard lately, and rather than let the quality of writing here slip, I put updates on hold until I could give the blog this blog the time it needs. I refuse to play NL ball and put out a steady stream of piss poor entries that "get the job done". Big hits only. That's a promise. I am committing to 100% A's Brand Blogging ... that means as many disappointments as ass-kickings, and I hope everyones comfortable with that.

Good. Because let me tell you about some of the latest developments in the chocula hunt scene that I'm _not_ comfortable with:

1) The new N*E*R*D album.

Why? Well for starter there's the album cover:

I won't even begin to speculate on what could have possessed Pharell to think this was cool, except maybe that he's realized he's cool enough that he can probably get away with anything he wants. But really, a giant, red-haired (and I'm a ginger dammnit) king-kongesque gorilla with snarling teeth hovering over your frail little group? Really? Couldn't the gorilla at least be wearing ice creams or BAPE or something pertinent to your whole shtick? Honestly, WTF? For even more laughs at the preposterousness of this, you need only go to their website, where not only do you get to see this atrocity, you get to hear gorilla grunts and moans to go with it as you navigate the page. Try to keep the page open for 10 seconds without laughing, I dare you.

All of this sheer ridiculousness, however, pales in comparison to the absurdity of the next half hour. N*E*R*D very subtly explores drug use at the club with the banger "Everyone Nose (All the Girls Standing in the Line for the Bathroom)",

spazzing out (on the irritating "spaz" -- he says "i'm a little tea pot short and stout" to open this track ... need i say more)

and many other "complex" issues on the CD. These songs are, frankly, just bad, and Pharell knows it. The man's got some chops though -- I mean, come on, at least that one Rockstar remix was fun to listen to -- he's just not trying here. This is just lame.

2) The abundance of nakedness of the new Sigur Ros album:

Yeah ... I have this thing on my iTunes which shows the album artwork when a song comes up on the screen. People at work are like "what the hell are you looking at?" and I have to try to explain that these people are ... well ... Icelandic. That's usually enough for most people. The CD is pretty good though.

3) That this blog isn't factored into metacritic's composite scores. If it were, Hercules and Love Affair would not be in the top 10 I assure you.

4) People that list themselves in the "Zouk" genre. I really don't think it applies in most cases. Stop thinking its cute. Its not. I'm talking to you St. Vincent ... I don't care how much Ram loves you.

5) Not this:

Hellz yah, stompahs a ginger and a baller. That's my A's.

More posts are on the way my few and faithful readers. Stay with me.